A Desperate Cry for Help
"I know that you don't really know
me... but I am in great need of the Fashion Guys' asstisance. As you
know, my sister Amy is getting married in June. Because of this being
the social gathering of the century, myself and a few friends are
getting rather concerned about what our appearances will say at this
most critical of events. Our conclusion was that we are in desperate
need of proffesional assistance in this scenario. I am pleading with
you.... CAN THE FASHION GUYS ONCE AGAIN RESUME THE ROLE OF HELPING THE
AVERAGE MAN ACHIEVE TRUE STYLE??? I know that they have disbanded, but
the FG can still achieve great things!!! We believe in you!!!!! Come
Back!!! My current style has stooped to gathering mens fashion tips
from my mom!!! Can you gather the FG team once again to post about
fashion at weddings and other important social events?!? Please???....
Forever a fan....
~Ben
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and so we give you....
Wedding Fashion 2006(for if your sister gets married or something)
Everybody is getting married. Guys meet girls and they fall in love and then it gets all romantic and stuff and next thing you know you have like six weddings to attend this year and you're freaking out because you don't know what to wear.
A few things to keep in mind about weddings... First off, if it's your sister who's getting married, just ask her. Girls know stuff about fashion, and your sister know what looks good on you. And it's her wedding, so wear something that she'll appreciate. Of course, if you don't think to ask said sister (or, perhaps friend) months in advance of said important wedding, by the time you get around to asking her she might only be able to mumble something about "uh, yeah, wedding, oooooh, i'm soooo in looooove, i love my baby soooo much..." and then go dancing off to check the status of flowers. or call "her baby."
Secondly, the wedding is not about you. This is not fashion advice for YOUR wedding. If you're reading this for fashion advice for your own wedding, stop now. Get off the internet. Go call "your baby". This is for those of us who are NOT getting married this year, who do not have girlfriends, and still have to look good for a few hours on Saturdays in May and June. Back to topic... this is not your wedding. Therefore, you will not be the center of attention. And neither is the food at the reception. (HINT: The center of attention will be the said sister or female friend that I mentioned a while ago. Yeah, the one in the white dress.) So your goal should be to look good, to look respectable, to look fashionable, but not to distract from what's going on. Furthermore, this is not "chillin' wit' da' guys on da' weekend". More likely than not, there will be relatives at this wedding, like grandparents and aunts and stuff like that, and while they love you very much as a relative, they will not necessarily love wierd, self-expressive, alternative clothing styles. Therefore, out of love and respect for more traditional, conservative tastes, we shall purpose to look respectable and intelligent, not gay, emo, or nerdy.
Lets Get Started...My pick for wedding guest outfit goes something like this.
Black pants. A nice shirt.
It's really that simple. We can break it down a little, though... expand on that idea, accessorize...
The Pants
Black dress pants. Why? Because they're classy. They're professional. They're sharp, but not flashy. They look good with every color shirt, all skin tones, any hair color. Make sure they're dress pants. If you wear cargo pants and think you're wearing dress pants, uh, you need help. Don't try to go casual/dressy. But they don't have to be pleated, persay. Flat-front dress pants are my preference. And cuffs. NO, DON'T CUFF THEM YOURSELF. I'm talking about, if there is already cuffs there. And make sure they fit right. The heel should just brush against the floor when you aren't wearing shoes. Don't sag! The waist should be right on your hips, not below. And if you want to look really nice, find black dress pants with tiny white pinstripes.
The Shirt
A colored dress shirt. This is a little harder than the pants, because you have to chose a color. Look for something bold and bright that isn't loud. Don't do black, this is not an emo event. Black on black should be avoided (unless you are a certain writer/poet turned photoshop artist from the Left Coast). Pink. Pink is a great color, but I would avoid it in this setting because of the "distracting" clause. It has a lot of political baggage, and I'd recommend just letting it have the day off. Lavender is ok. Deep purple is a little riskier. Silver is good. Red, I'd avoid. Too loud. It says "I am desperate to be noticed." Yellow too. Yellow is generally obnoxious. Obviously, brown is not an option, not with black pants. Neither is orange. Green is a good color. Just make sure it isn't sick green, or too dark. If you want to try the cutting edge, consider bright green, even lime green. But check with your sister on that one. Blue is good. Blue is ALWAYS good. Light blue is best. Aways safe. Avoid white, unless you're Amish or a CEO. Other options... little stripes. But stick with tasteful colors, and small vertical stripes. You can do other stuff, but stay professional. Don't wear a short sleeve shirt. Don't wear a polo shirt or rugby shirt or basketball jersey or ANY sport-themed shirt for that matter. If you don't own a nice, long-sleeve dress shirt, this might be a good time to invest. Hint: You won't find one at American Eagle, Aero, Fossil, or Pac Sun. Try a department Store. The Men's section, not the Young Men's. There's a difference. Iron your shirt. If you can't iron your shirt, you're pathetic, ask your mom to teach you. Tuck your shirt in. If it comes untucked in the wild festivities of the celebration, go to the Men's Room and tuck it in again. Don't roll up your sleeves. You are not working. You are not a news anchor trying to look like you're actually working. Button your cuffs. Maybe even buy some small, tasteful cuff links, if that works with your shirt. If you aren't wearing a tie, unbutton your top button. But only one button. If you wear an undershirt, make sure it doesn't show at the neck. Remember, your grandma will think you look great, and so will you sister. And so will I.
Suits and Ties
A suit is good. I'm partial to black suits, because they make us look very manly. If you're wearing a black suit, all that stuff about colored dress shirts still applies. You can wear other colored suits, as long as they look good. No brown. I'd avoid grey. Oatmeal is good color for a suit, but that will cut down your options for shirt colors. I'd stick with black or light blue shirt if you're suit is on the lighter side of tan. I don't like blue suits. Unless of course you want to look like a small-business owner or something. You can wear a suit without a tie. You can wear a tie if you want to. No animal ties, sports ties, cartoon ties, or other deeply cheesy ties. I'd go with diagonal stripes or argyles (you know, overlapping diamonds?). Make sure it matches your shirt. Buy the shirt and tie at the same time and ask the salesperson if it matches. Or take your shirt with you to buy the tie. Or take your Mom, she knows. Don't sag your tie. This is not an American Eagle photo shoot. Button your top button. The tip of your tie should come just to the center of your belt buckle. If, after the ceremony, you feel like taking your tie off, take it all the way off. Do not just sag it so the knot is somewhere near your clavicle.
Belts, Socks, and Shoes
Wear a belt. A black leather belt with a silver buckle. Wear black leather shoes. Dress shoes. And make sure they're polished. Wear black dress socks. If your tie has argyles, find black dress socks with subtle argyles. If they have a Nike "Swoosh" on them, you know they're not dress socks. If you wear white socks after all this trouble, please take a Sharpie out of your plastic pocket-protector and write "Nerd" in mirror-writing across your forehead.
Personal Grooming
Get a haircut. Don't look like a dog. If it completely covers your ears or your eyebrows, you know it's too long. This is not a beach. You do not have to look like a surfer. Cut your hair. Furthermore, style it. Whether you choose to use a comb, brush, your fingers, or a screwdriver, do SoMETHING to make it look like care how you look. Spikey is good. Longer is ok. "Messed Up" is ok, as long as it's messed up with gel, and messed up evenly. If you feel like it, you can do a "faux hawk", ya know, with it spiked down the middle, as long as it's ok with your sister. Curly is ok. Whatever you do, just do it well. Shave or something. Just because you can grow a little fuzzy mustache doesn't mean you should. If you have facial hair, make sure it's trimmed. This goes for sideburns too.
Be polite. Open the door for your grandma. Smile and say "Hi". And have a good time.
You look great!
